Homeostatic Happiness

Today at HRBC was all about Next steps.. from the graduates in worship to our closeout of the story of Esther.

Few of my thoughts/bullets are below summarizing the stuff we talked about... Was great to see you all today. (post your comments/thoughts on the blog)

• Commanding generals Lee and Grant "chose" a path to reconciliation and unity at Appomattox. Check out (Appomattox County) for more on this.
  
• Esther and Mordecai "won" and chose a path which allowed the Jews to massacre over 75,000 people as a result of the persecution. Was this revenge or justice?
• There is no linear solution to "happyeverafterness", no matter what Hollywood says
• Willy Wonka told Charlie "remember what happened to the man who got everything...he was happy"
• Perhaps by focusing on what God wants for us, we can be happy.. perhaps not.
  
• We should live in JOY, and joy is not same thing as happiness.
  
• God was at work through Easter and is at work in our lives every day.
• Holy spirit is with us and will help us anytime we ask.
• Revenge and Justice are dangerous for us. They present a lot of problems which we can't easily reconcile. Perhaps they are best left to God to deal with..
• People: both adults and children should never raise ourselves up by putting others down

CLASS ACTIVITIES TO PLAN:
Ackerman assistance (come through Jeff, assessment is underway)
Fun in the Son 2009???
Meat Night
Ladies nights continue..
Remember Open door has a group on Facebook.
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Friday nt forums are ON!.. Prillaman house on Friday nights.. bring enough food for your crew to eat, kids welcome.. we eat from 6-7 and talk from 7-9ish.
on June 5: we will continue with the 912 principles & the Declaration of Independence

Future topics for the forum are likely to include: the Church & the government, Influence of Arts on world, Obamanomics, The Great Depression, Raising kids in our entitlement society, Universal Healthcare, Gay Marriage and embracing diversity, Rich v. Poor in U.S.A. , Green future... Socialism, Fascism in Our time/town... who knows we may even have some guest experts..

Brotherhood vs Benevolence via Relationships

Memorial day was a special memory for the Prillaman clan today. With my mom and dad here, and in response to a great children's service last week, Josh decided to make his public profession of faith. It was a good day.. to quote Fernando Ortega, "this good day, it is a gift from you. The world is turning in its place because you made it too. I lift my voice to sing a song of praise, for this good day. "

In class today, we continued the saga of Esther, focusing on the people in the story and their relationships and choices. We recognized that there are different levels, expectations, filters and even capacities for different relationships in both their lives and ours. I shared my vision for our class as a true "life community" that lives as an active part of each others' lives while at the same time recognizing the development cycle which we have to continually traverse. Group dynamics are indeed an interesting and constantly evolving reality for a family/community like ours.

Read more on Form, Storm, Norm, and Perform here: http://changingminds.org/explanations/groups/form_storm_norm_perform.htm

Here is another interesting point on this.. might surprise you. http://judesmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/form-storm-norm-perform.html

As we mature and constantly navigate this cycle I want to encourage each of you to think about not only what you can/will do but also what you expect. An honest discussion is key to our continued growth.

Stuff we talked about today:

• Who are the people in our lives. Don't forget our adversaries, enemies in addition to teachers, friends, colleagues, etc..
• What is the definition of a BFF and how do you make one?
• House and Wilson and whether they are really friends.
• Risk and Reward concepts abound in relationships. To mature and grow we need trust. Trust is developed through shared experiences both positive and negative.
• Esther and the King.. using position, power, and savvy negotiating to get good results.
• Helping one another as brothers not benevolence.
• Anyone interested in helping "tactically" with the Ackerman's needs, should work through me. I am and will be coordinating a property assessment and plan of action.
• Other people in the class need to also queue up requests for help for our "life community to help with", from carpentry, to childcare, to coaching, and beyond. (This should come to Jeff as well for coordination)
• Boundaries and the danger of communications context in generating good will vs ill will.
• Being careful not to manipulate the sympathies of others just as Esther did with King Ahasuerus.
• There ARE consequences for good choices and poor choices. Adults should be constantly vigilant.
• Reality that many people just want a list of things that they can do to make a difference "locally". This is okay. By starting and working through conflicts and challenges together, openly, and honestly, we will all grow and we can "be one in Christ"
• Open Door is not in the business of benevolence. I EXPECT us to be in the business of brotherhood. My vision for this class is for us to constantly grow as Christians, while we study, change and deal with the conflict that is LIFE.

To quote my mom, we are all blessed but the blessings are not for our benefit alone. They are gifts from God to be shared with our world... one relationship at a time.

Love you all.. Have a great day.
jeff

The FEUD

Continuing episodes in the saga of Esther found us in "conflict" between two authority figures. Haman and Mordecai definitely didn't get along, to say the least. The "FEUD" ends up okay but at this point in our story, things look pretty bad.

If you couldn't make it today, please know that I missed you and the class wasn't the same without you.

Ideas discussed today:

• Bowing, when, how and why
• Warning signs: if your identity is tied up with being against someone or something, that can be dangerous. It isn't bad by definition, but it is very risky.
• Cost benefit analysis on keeping up the "hate" or just letting it go
• Betrayal: Jeff's personal reaction to it, and ideas on how to look to the future and move ahead.
  
• Reminder: God is working in and around you all the time.
• Forgiveness and reconciliation: "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do"
• Turning the other cheek means? bowing down, choosing not to fight back, demonstrating an all encompassing "love" for your enemy/adversary. It doesn't mean ceding the "right" position, but it does mean that Love and the relationship must remain paramount.

THE ONE THING: It is not enough to be right. More action is req'd and loving your brother in spite of his actions, maybe even "because of" his actions is critical. Honesty and integrity in the face of crisis coupled with loving actions will "get you through it".

As always, I would love to hear commentary on these ideas and I hope and pray that each of you is actively participating in our life community outside of class. Dinners, dates, discussion, hanging out, and maybe even a few "diapers".. (I threw that one in for you Forrest/Lori). Please remember and don't hesitate to reach out to one another for the little things... help around the house, babysitting, video game tips, shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, and someone to laugh with.. Relationships matter, and they don't just happen. They take work and continuing action/dedication.

MOVIE Recommendation: Go see Star Trek.. great entertainment, without any real "agenda" just fun, fighting, feuding, and photon torpedoes.. this one is worth seeing in the theater.

Class business:
We need a class secretary/secretary team to check the role, and pass around the announcements. (if you are passionate about that sort of thing, please step up)
Activities Coordinators/team: plan the Spring/Summer/Fall events and actually "make them happen"
Teaching Assistants/Facilitators: I need a break once in a while, please let me know if you are interested in taking the lead for any of the coming segments.. even for just a week or two..

The teaser:upcoming lessons/Themes:

• Lessons for May will continue on the soap opera of Esther ;-)
• June is about Prayer on the go.. will be interesting to see where exactly it goes...
• July is all about God's messages for cities. Jerusalem, Nineveh, Nazareth and Sodom.
• August wraps up all of this mess with studies of "Adjusted Attitudes"...

Happy Mother's Day to all. Hope you enjoy the beautiful weather and remember the blessings bestowed upon you by your Mom.

Read your lesson before Sunday AM.. it helps!

Jeff

Ms California, Tea parties and the evil bankers - Open door notes 050309

Well now, I came to church this am thinking that the lesson would be pretty boring standard fare. Come on now.. like Don said, going through each day could just be about being "practical". That is certainly what I think Mordecai was doing. We DO need to be practical and think about when to speak up and when to be quiet.
Our actions should speak for themselves. I wonder if they do?

I enjoyed studying with you all this am. It was much more fun than I thought it was going to be. Ooops, not sure if I should have said that.

I do hope to get to see more of you, more regularly over the next few months/units. I know it is hard, but please do all you can to make it out on Sunday AM. Our time together is important for each and every one. I believe that we have something special going on, and that we need to try and reach out to our church, and our community with our fellowship, families, and faith. If we can't be disciplined in making our time together and in worship a priority, how can we expect to impact our community and neighbors. God will bless our offering of time and resources, but we must make an offering first. Please think about how and what you might do to sacrificially follow Christ and do kingdom work over the next few months..

SPRING/SUMMER FUN:
Lessons for May will continue on the soap opera of Esther ;-)
June is about Prayer on the go.. will be interesting to see where exactly it goes...
July is all about God's messages for cities. Jerusalem, Nineveh, Nazareth and Sodom.
August wraps up all of this mess with studies of "Adjusted Attitudes"...


Notes:
1. Open door now has a "group" on FACEBOOK for any of you that are addicted like me.
2. Ladies night fellowship is tonight at Tripps. This is a great opportunity to come out and praise your wonderful and virtuous husbands & children in public or... you could just get to know the other ladies in the class. I am really proud of you all for doing this sort of thing.
3. 2009 Fun in the Son. where, when, how.. pool? beach?, lake anna?,

How about a class party soon? I have heard good things about Dave & Busters and there is now one open up in Short Pump.. sounds like it might be a fun date night for all of us adults.

Other ideas: any chance of a Spring camping trip or even a beach weekend for any/all of us to go together?

Remember, we all do what we want to do. I pray and hope that you will "want" to be with your friends at Open Door no matter where we go...

jeff


--
Jeff Prillaman
Executive Director, Da Capo Virginia
http://www.dacapoinstitute.org