Brotherhood vs Benevolence via Relationships

Memorial day was a special memory for the Prillaman clan today. With my mom and dad here, and in response to a great children's service last week, Josh decided to make his public profession of faith. It was a good day.. to quote Fernando Ortega, "this good day, it is a gift from you. The world is turning in its place because you made it too. I lift my voice to sing a song of praise, for this good day. "

In class today, we continued the saga of Esther, focusing on the people in the story and their relationships and choices. We recognized that there are different levels, expectations, filters and even capacities for different relationships in both their lives and ours. I shared my vision for our class as a true "life community" that lives as an active part of each others' lives while at the same time recognizing the development cycle which we have to continually traverse. Group dynamics are indeed an interesting and constantly evolving reality for a family/community like ours.

Read more on Form, Storm, Norm, and Perform here: http://changingminds.org/explanations/groups/form_storm_norm_perform.htm

Here is another interesting point on this.. might surprise you. http://judesmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/form-storm-norm-perform.html

As we mature and constantly navigate this cycle I want to encourage each of you to think about not only what you can/will do but also what you expect. An honest discussion is key to our continued growth.

Stuff we talked about today:

• Who are the people in our lives. Don't forget our adversaries, enemies in addition to teachers, friends, colleagues, etc..
• What is the definition of a BFF and how do you make one?
• House and Wilson and whether they are really friends.
• Risk and Reward concepts abound in relationships. To mature and grow we need trust. Trust is developed through shared experiences both positive and negative.
• Esther and the King.. using position, power, and savvy negotiating to get good results.
• Helping one another as brothers not benevolence.
• Anyone interested in helping "tactically" with the Ackerman's needs, should work through me. I am and will be coordinating a property assessment and plan of action.
• Other people in the class need to also queue up requests for help for our "life community to help with", from carpentry, to childcare, to coaching, and beyond. (This should come to Jeff as well for coordination)
• Boundaries and the danger of communications context in generating good will vs ill will.
• Being careful not to manipulate the sympathies of others just as Esther did with King Ahasuerus.
• There ARE consequences for good choices and poor choices. Adults should be constantly vigilant.
• Reality that many people just want a list of things that they can do to make a difference "locally". This is okay. By starting and working through conflicts and challenges together, openly, and honestly, we will all grow and we can "be one in Christ"
• Open Door is not in the business of benevolence. I EXPECT us to be in the business of brotherhood. My vision for this class is for us to constantly grow as Christians, while we study, change and deal with the conflict that is LIFE.

To quote my mom, we are all blessed but the blessings are not for our benefit alone. They are gifts from God to be shared with our world... one relationship at a time.

Love you all.. Have a great day.
jeff

The FEUD

Continuing episodes in the saga of Esther found us in "conflict" between two authority figures. Haman and Mordecai definitely didn't get along, to say the least. The "FEUD" ends up okay but at this point in our story, things look pretty bad.

If you couldn't make it today, please know that I missed you and the class wasn't the same without you.

Ideas discussed today:

• Bowing, when, how and why
• Warning signs: if your identity is tied up with being against someone or something, that can be dangerous. It isn't bad by definition, but it is very risky.
• Cost benefit analysis on keeping up the "hate" or just letting it go
• Betrayal: Jeff's personal reaction to it, and ideas on how to look to the future and move ahead.
  
• Reminder: God is working in and around you all the time.
• Forgiveness and reconciliation: "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do"
• Turning the other cheek means? bowing down, choosing not to fight back, demonstrating an all encompassing "love" for your enemy/adversary. It doesn't mean ceding the "right" position, but it does mean that Love and the relationship must remain paramount.

THE ONE THING: It is not enough to be right. More action is req'd and loving your brother in spite of his actions, maybe even "because of" his actions is critical. Honesty and integrity in the face of crisis coupled with loving actions will "get you through it".

As always, I would love to hear commentary on these ideas and I hope and pray that each of you is actively participating in our life community outside of class. Dinners, dates, discussion, hanging out, and maybe even a few "diapers".. (I threw that one in for you Forrest/Lori). Please remember and don't hesitate to reach out to one another for the little things... help around the house, babysitting, video game tips, shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, and someone to laugh with.. Relationships matter, and they don't just happen. They take work and continuing action/dedication.

MOVIE Recommendation: Go see Star Trek.. great entertainment, without any real "agenda" just fun, fighting, feuding, and photon torpedoes.. this one is worth seeing in the theater.

Class business:
We need a class secretary/secretary team to check the role, and pass around the announcements. (if you are passionate about that sort of thing, please step up)
Activities Coordinators/team: plan the Spring/Summer/Fall events and actually "make them happen"
Teaching Assistants/Facilitators: I need a break once in a while, please let me know if you are interested in taking the lead for any of the coming segments.. even for just a week or two..

The teaser:upcoming lessons/Themes:

• Lessons for May will continue on the soap opera of Esther ;-)
• June is about Prayer on the go.. will be interesting to see where exactly it goes...
• July is all about God's messages for cities. Jerusalem, Nineveh, Nazareth and Sodom.
• August wraps up all of this mess with studies of "Adjusted Attitudes"...

Happy Mother's Day to all. Hope you enjoy the beautiful weather and remember the blessings bestowed upon you by your Mom.

Read your lesson before Sunday AM.. it helps!

Jeff

Ms California, Tea parties and the evil bankers - Open door notes 050309

Well now, I came to church this am thinking that the lesson would be pretty boring standard fare. Come on now.. like Don said, going through each day could just be about being "practical". That is certainly what I think Mordecai was doing. We DO need to be practical and think about when to speak up and when to be quiet.
Our actions should speak for themselves. I wonder if they do?

I enjoyed studying with you all this am. It was much more fun than I thought it was going to be. Ooops, not sure if I should have said that.

I do hope to get to see more of you, more regularly over the next few months/units. I know it is hard, but please do all you can to make it out on Sunday AM. Our time together is important for each and every one. I believe that we have something special going on, and that we need to try and reach out to our church, and our community with our fellowship, families, and faith. If we can't be disciplined in making our time together and in worship a priority, how can we expect to impact our community and neighbors. God will bless our offering of time and resources, but we must make an offering first. Please think about how and what you might do to sacrificially follow Christ and do kingdom work over the next few months..

SPRING/SUMMER FUN:
Lessons for May will continue on the soap opera of Esther ;-)
June is about Prayer on the go.. will be interesting to see where exactly it goes...
July is all about God's messages for cities. Jerusalem, Nineveh, Nazareth and Sodom.
August wraps up all of this mess with studies of "Adjusted Attitudes"...


Notes:
1. Open door now has a "group" on FACEBOOK for any of you that are addicted like me.
2. Ladies night fellowship is tonight at Tripps. This is a great opportunity to come out and praise your wonderful and virtuous husbands & children in public or... you could just get to know the other ladies in the class. I am really proud of you all for doing this sort of thing.
3. 2009 Fun in the Son. where, when, how.. pool? beach?, lake anna?,

How about a class party soon? I have heard good things about Dave & Busters and there is now one open up in Short Pump.. sounds like it might be a fun date night for all of us adults.

Other ideas: any chance of a Spring camping trip or even a beach weekend for any/all of us to go together?

Remember, we all do what we want to do. I pray and hope that you will "want" to be with your friends at Open Door no matter where we go...

jeff


--
Jeff Prillaman
Executive Director, Da Capo Virginia
http://www.dacapoinstitute.org

Success at community?

What would Jesus think of?
Us, Our church, Our familes, How we use our time... OUR DISCIPLESHIP

I deeply enjoyed learning and worshipping with you all this morning. I got myself all worked up as I listened to Bert speak and at the same time realized how busy my family would be at "church" today. The ideas that were laid before me were oxymoronic. This isn't the first nor likely the last time I get into situations where the Holy Spirit speaks to me and I don't understand. I may not know the answer, but I do believe.

We are truly committed to the business of HRBC, but we are more committed to the mission that Jesus laid out for us. I had some revelations in the last 24 hours as I studied Mark 8:34-9:1. Ask me one on one and I'll be glad to share some of my own insights. They are a bit personal, so I won't write them there, but I would like to talk with you more about them and learn about your own journeys, with their successes and failures. We don't have time for that on Sunday mornings, but I would like to offer up a regular discussion time at my house, if anyone is interested. We as a life community, can choose to prioritize and spend time together supporting one another in our homes, and outside of the expectations of HRBC. Perhaps, we might find a new language or tone to our discussions if we are open. We can talk more about this after I ask Tracee if it is okay.. ;-)

I know and can speak to the elements in my life of denying self and sacrificing for the ministry and mission that Jesus has laid out for me. I follow blindly, and I trust in the future. I love my neighbors often to a fault.


Assignment: (yes this is a test and written answers would be best)
1. What sort of Church do you want to be a part of? (answer in paragraph form)
2. Does HRBC and our OPEN DOOR class fulfill on those dreams? (yes or no)
3. How are you helping your church to bridge the gaps?

EXTRA CREDIT!!!
4. Are we successful as a class based on the criteria laid out in the video?
passion, work, focus, persistence, ideas, good, push, serve
5. What are we good at?
6. What can we improve on?

Meet Who? where, when, how, why

Hi all, Scripture for tomorow is

Isaiah 12:1-6 NRSV
You will say in that day: I will give thanks to you, O Lord, for though you were angry with me, your anger turned away, and you comforted me. Surely God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my might; he has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. And you will say in that day: Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known his deeds among the nations; proclaim that his name is exalted. 56 Shout aloud and sing for joy, O royal Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel. Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth.

Isaiah 12:1-6 MESSAGE And you will say in that day, "I thank you, God. You were angry but your anger wasn't forever. You withdrew your anger and moved in and comforted me. "Yes, indeed—God is my salvation. I trust, I won't be afraid. God—yes God!—is my strength and song, best of all, my salvation!" Joyfully you'll pull up buckets of water from the wells of salvation. And as you do it, you'll say, "Give thanks to God. Call out his name. Ask him anything! Shout to the nations, tell them what he's done, spread the news of his great reputation! "Sing praise-songs to God. He's done it all! Let the whole earth know what he's done! Raise the roof! Sing your hearts out, O Zion! The Greatest lives among you: The Holy of Israel."

Since I won't be there.. I need each of you to think about how you can contribute to the class' journey through Meeting God. Look to the Holy Spirit to work within you and treat this as a bit of a test for one another.

on accountability, resourcefulness, encouragement.. are you role models for one another?

Proposed discussion plan and starter sequence: whoever is there.. this is your "ASSIGNMENT"

When you come to church.. Who exactly do you intend to meet?
How exactly do you "MEET" God? write up some practical examples.. maybe even personal stories. reviewing the last few weeks..

How do we worship.. review the scripture for guidance.. what else can we do?
Why do we worship.. review the scripture for guidance.. what does it say.. What else is the Holy spirit telling you right now?

Others: What role does discipline and boundaries play in your life, sports, arts? What are some of the big boundaries for Christians? How do we deal with them and what role does the worshipping community play in supporting one another through our collective failures?

Is worship between and individual and God or is it the "collective" offering of the church honoring God? is it both? and what does that mean.

I am so sorry that I won't be there to talk with you and learn from you tomorrow. I will probably miss you much more than you miss me.. ;-)

Reminder, this is what we have talked about through January..

Meeting God in Renewal Isaiah 2:1-6, 13, 20-22
Meeting God in Judgment Isaiah 5:1-13
Meeting God in the Temple Isaiah 6:1-8
Meeting God through the Spirit Isaiah 11:1-9
Meeting God through Worship Isaiah 12:1-6

BONUS ACTIVITY: What do you remember from our study this month... fill up those boards.. with thoughts, ideas.. maybe even action plans.. would love to see comments, emails on this for discussion.

Our first Make a difference Sunday is still set for April 26th but we may not be able to partner with Julie's class since this is Youth Sunday.. I am feeling convicted that we should stick with the date and find something to do.. even if it means coming to church and then "hitting the road" with our familes for service.. Wasn't my original plan, but it might be what God's plan is.. I am still praying on that one.

Sorry I won't see you tomorrow.
jeff

The LISTS: Kooky with Big Ears, are you?

It was great to be back at HRBC today. We had a low attendance day today.. FYI to all, we noticed and missed you. Glad we had Jill, Jon, Veona, Don, Tracee, Heather and myself..

MAKE A DIFFERENCE SUNDAY will be April 26. mark your calendars, and start preparing.. We are partnering with Julie's class and ideas are coming soon...

Study today was on Isaiah 11:1-9(full text is at the bottom of this post from the NIV)
Sermon in worship service was on :

We began our exercises today trying to come up with the characteristics we would list to describe people in our lives who are "led by the spirit".. real people, real examples.. not ministers or church leaders..

Our Role models, Encouragers, Accountability Partners, and Resources were:
Bruce, Cassandra, Pat, Ed, Liss, Dee, and Nancy.

The Spirit LIST: Humble, Faithful to God, Trusting, Compassionate, Honest, Encouraging, Servant, Positive, Respected, Kooky, Helpers, Charitable, Available, Big Ears, Big Hugs, Persistent, Fair, Objective, Prayerful.

For us this list defined values that are Old and TRUE... these should be the keys to success. It is unfortunate that in most cases in today's world, we tend to attribute value to individuals who exemplify the opposite of these things all too often. The list above perfectly exemplifies the ideas we have been focusing on for: Perspective, Opportunity, followed by Action. That is how we meet God in my book. We should all strive to be a little more "kooky" and we should definitely spend more time listening with our "Big Ears".

We then dove into our Bible study and created the following lists to try and make sense of the poetry and message from the prophet.

vs 1-5-- The new king as defined by Isaiah will be: fruit-bearing, filled with wisdom, understanding, counsel, mighty, powerful, full of knowledge, fearful of the Lord, will delight in the Lord. he will judge by righteousness and not just by sight, just, righteous, faithful,

vs 6-9-- The new kingdom as defined by Isaiah will be: non-conformist, child-like, calm, peaceful,trusting, smart and safe

The Branch From Jesse

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.

The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD -

and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
or decide by what he hears with his ears;

but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.

Righteousness will be his belt
and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
and a little child will lead them.

The cow will feed with the bear,
their young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.

The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest.

They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD
as the waters cover the sea.

QUESTIONS for YOU!
How would you score on our spirit filled, spirit led 10 point scale?
Under pressure, do you look to the Lord first or do you first lean on your OWN understanding and experience?
Who is in control? the president, the pastor, the church, the individual, the parent? or......

Accountability: Perspective, Opportunity, Action

I have been so busy lately, that I haven't maintained a very healthy example of keeping perspective, finding opportunities or actions. I wonder if maybe you all might be feeling the same. Seems like things are kind of hectic right now despite our "deep freeze".

Had an interesting thought that while my personal focus is a little frenetic right not, my "systems of involvement" and relationships have kept me on track. Other people and my regular committments have helped to hold me in line despite myself. Coaching in Upward with the practice on Monday and then games today has made a difference in reminding me and keeping me accountable to my own plans. Preparing for SS lessons is always a challenge and praying with my family at meals is a constant baseline of attention. Think about what your grounding points are and what the contexts are that keep you involved in each others' lives. Telephone calls to one another, maybe meals together, studying together and even playing Wii together are all opportunities. Sports, Music, Choirs, etc.. each presents chances already in place that we just need the courage to embrace and commit to.. Not always necessary to reinvent the wheel. Aren't we lucky that God is always there and just waiting for us to ask for help, or even just waiting for a simple conversation.

How is your personal God time going these days? I would like to hear and help and hope we can all help each other as the devotion below mentions..

Tracee and I will be at First Baptist Ahoskie way down in NC tomorrow but Ken will do a great job facilitating and teaching as he always does. Pray for safe and fast travel for us.. We will be booking it back up the road and hope to see some or all of you at Family Movie Night tomorrow night. See you soon!

jeff

==========================================
Spiritual Growth Is Not a Private Matter
by Rick Warren

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

Some of us hesitate to commit ourselves to developing an intentional plan of growth that requires accountability or relationship with others because we believe spiritual growth is a personal and private matter. We choose to believe each person develops in his or her own way at his or her own rate.

This is an aberration from the truth.The idolatry of individualism has influenced even the way we think about spiritual growth.So much of the teaching on spiritual formation is self-centered and self-focused without any reference to our relationship to other Christians.

This is completely unbiblical and ignores much of the New Testament. The truth is that Christians need relationships to grow. We don't grow in isolation from others. We develop in the context of fellowship.

Over and over again in the New Testament we find this basic truth: Believers need relationships with each other to grow! Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another …" (NIV).

God intends for us to grow up in a family.

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches.